Gone gone gone
by mida malek
Summary: J2 are having trouble over Sam and Dean's relationship... again!


_**So this is my first attempt on a J2 fic! All the events in the following story are made by my weird mind and are not real! :D This is a birthday present for my little sister Saba! baby happy birthday!:3**_

_**it will mean alot if you guys listened to the song i put up here too. It's my vision and will help you have the vision!:)**_

Jensen started awake at the sound of the very familiar ringtone, Eye of the Tiger. He rolled on his side and tiredly got up on his feet before almost ignoring it and going back to sleep. It was three in the morning. What could Jared possibly want at three in the morning? And especially after that big fight they had on the stage just less than five hours ago.

He dragged himself through the messy room, knocking out a lamp on his way and finally after a few more rings he found the phone inside his jacket pocket, on the couch.

"Jared, I know you don't like to fight but for heaven's sake it's three in the morning and we have shooting tomo…"

"Mr. Ackles?" said an unfamiliar female voice from the other end making Jensen go still in his tracks.

"This is Ackles… who are you?" Jensen said, starting to feel worried.

"I'm calling about Mr. Padalecki. You are saved as his emergency contact."

"Where is Jared?" Jensen said, now fully on panic mode.

"He has been in an accident. We need you to come…"

"Just tell me the address. I'm on my way."

He wasn't really aware of what he was doing as he grabbed his car keys and jacket, running out of the house. His mind was racing so fast it was like a movie on fast-forward. He couldn't make heads and tails out of them. His mind kept going back and forth between their fight and an image of Jared lying on a bed with a tube in his mouth.

"Oh god…" He murmured to himself, pulling at his short hair in frustration. He was going faster than the speed limit and yet it wasn't fast enough. What if he didn't get there in time? What if…

He cursed himself inwardly for not asking about Jared's state from the woman on the phone. But that was unnecessary, right? Jared was gonna be fine, right? He had to be… They needed to make up, get over their fight. They had roles they needed to play. Sam Winchester was not ready to go yet and Jared needed to be ok to play him. Jensen needed Jared to be fine to play Sam for him.

After what seemed like hours he finally pulled over in front of the hospital, getting out and running to the open doors of the ER. He didn't even bother with his jacket.

He needed to see that Jared is ok.

When at last he got to the receptionist, he was out of breath and sweating, panting heavily.

"I'm here for Jared Padalecki." he managed to breathe out, his heart beating too fast in his chest, the vein on his forehead pulsing.

"Oh… Mr. Ackles, you're here… I'm a big…"

"Seriously? Just tell me where the hell is my friend? Is he ok?" Jensen shouted, not really able to believe the young woman's ignorance.

"Oh, I'm so sorry… He was moved to surgery a few moments ago, you have to wait till he comes out."

Jensen was left numb for a few moments before his mind started to process the new information.

"He was moved to… why was he moved to the surgery? Is it serious? What the hell happened?"

The nurse looked a little taken aback by the tone Jensen was using but Jensen just couldn't find it in himself to give a damn. He just needed to talk to his best friend.

"The police are here, you can ask them about what happened. And as for your friend's condition, he had a serious concussion and extreme bloodlust due to his injuries. That's all I know for now, please be patient till he gets out of surgery."

Jensen took a deep breath and turned to find the police the woman was talking about. Jared was a careful driver, a very good one, and Jensen just couldn't figure out why he would get into a car crash.

It didn't take him long to find the officers, talking to the other car's driver. At that second Jensen might have just lost it all, because next thing he found himself with a handful of the guy's shirt, shouting very loudly.

"What the hell happened? Did you crash into his car? Why? Answer me. Tell me why my friend is in a damn hospital?" To be honest, deep down Jensen knew he was taking out everything on the poor guy, he just didn't know who else to blame at this point.

He didn't even know what he was blaming the guy for.

"Mr. Ackles, please let the man go." One of the officers said from behind him, holding Jensen's shoulder.

"I wanna know what happened to Jared." Jensen shouted again, but slowly letting go of the man. He turned to face to police officer.

"He seems to have lost control of the car, we still don't know why. We have to wait until he wakes up." Jensen brushed his hands on his face, feeling frustrated.

"Is there anything else you can tell me?" He asked, his inner Winchester taking control.

"I'm sorry, I'm afraid not. You should go up, wait for his doctor to come out and give you more information." Came the response. Jensen just nodded once and walked away.

It was six hours now that Jensen was sitting outside the surgery room, waiting for someone to give him a damn answer. He had called the set, telling them what had happened and he had called Sherri. He was restless and he couldn't sit for more than twenty minutes at a time.

He was thinking about everything, and nothing. It felt like their lives, him and Jared were flashing before his eyes, instead of Jared's. He was remembering everything, every single talk they'd had over the years since the very beginning.

_"__It's just you and me. pal." _He remembered telling Jared on their first encounter and he remembered how it had exactly been just the two of them ever since. Sure, they were close with Misha and Mark and some others, but he and Jared were the dynamic duo, they had become brothers.

And he remembered their most recent fight, how stupid it was and how it was the worst they had ever fought.

When Jared had left his trailer, angry and steaming with fury Jensen had told himself they would just make up in the morning. They always did.

'Not this time' a voice whispered in his head and Jensen was restless again.

This can't be happening, not to them, not now. Not when Sam and Dean were feuding. They needed to make peace between the brothers.

Those two were why Jensen and Jared were fighting anyway. It was this stupid scene, where Dean was confronting Sam, asking him why he hadn't looked for Dean when he was in purgatory, and after they had cut, Jensen had said something along the lines of "Wow, Sam is a real asshole." And Jared had heard him. They always said shit like that about Sam and Dean, hell, Jensen had taken the "man-whore" jokes for years, but for some damn reason this time Jared had gotten angry and acted out.

_"__Oh Sam is an asshole? What about Dean? He's always expecting Sam to drop everything and go look for him. Well, can't he just face it? Just because he doesn't have a life of his own it doesn't mean Sam has to be the same."_

Jensen still couldn't get why he had gotten so prejudiced about Dean at that moment, but he had punched Jared right in the face and it had led to Jared tearing up and saying those words, the ones that might now turn into the last he had ever told Jensen.

_"__Did you just hit me because of Dean?" _Jared had asked with wide eyes, holding his now bleeding nose.

_"__No, I hit you because you were being mean. You know why Dean does what he does! He cares about Sam, he spent his whole life taking care of the kid. I thought of all the people you would understand how being brothers means a lot to Dean, how he just needed Sam to look for him when he was in purgatory."_

_"__He's pathetic Jey, and if you think you can relate to him well I'm sorry to break it to you but you don't have a brother. I'm not your brother, and I never will be. Don't think I wouldn't do the same as Sam if I got the chance."_

Jensen shivered as he remembered those words and was very thankful when the doors opened and a young doctor stepped out, successfully distracting him from his inner musings.

"Doctor, how's he doing?"

"Are you one of his siblings?"

"I'm his best… yes, I'm family. How is he?" Jensen almost pleaded. He tried really hard to reassure himself Jared wouldn't mind about this, Jensen saying he's family.

"Well, we did all we could. He had lost so much blood making his heart fail at pumping blood to his brain. We patched him up and his injuries will be fine, but the lack of Oxygen and the concussion caused him a temporary coma. We can't do more at this stage, neither can you… just pray for him, I guess, if you believe in that kind of power."

The doctor finished and by experience he was half expecting the man in front of him to throw a fit or have a break down. But Jensen was too shocked to do any of those. He just stood there, staring at the younger man, trying to process.

He sat down on the seat and held his face in his hands, staring at his shoes.

What? Jared was in a… he was in a damn coma? But…

"When is he gonna come out the coma?" He asked, his lips shaking.

"I don't know… no one can tell. You can only stay by his side and talk to him. Make him know he's wanted and maybe he will hear you." The doctor said before he turned around and walked away, disappearing behind a corridor.

Jensen was left alone to his thoughts, sitting there by himself until a nurse came and called on him.

"Mr. Ackles?"

Jensen jumped, looking up at the young woman.

"Is he up?" _'Please let him be ok, please let him be out of the coma' _he thought to himself, inwardly begging whatever God above.

"I'm sorry, no… he's settled down in a room, it's in a private one of course. I came here to let you know you can go visit him."

"What do you mean visit? I need to stay, till he wakes up." Jensen got to his feet. "Where is he?"

"Come with me, I will take you to him."

Jensen followed the woman to a room on the last floor, and nothing he could do would have prepared him for the scene in front of him.

Jared was so pale and there were cuts all over his face. His right hand was in a cast and Jensen could tell the poor boy was hurt very badly around his middle.

He sat down beside the bed, holding Jared's left hand in his tightly.

"Jared… I'm sorry man… I'm sorry we fought like that… I… why did this even happen?"

He looked at Jared's pale face, feeling his heart break. In just a second his world had taken a turn for the worse. He didn't even notice when he sat down or when the nurse left them alone.

"Man… I wish you… this feels so stupid. Talking to you when I know…" he took a deep breath.

"Can you hear me Jare? Give me a sign… a push, a pressure, anything... I'm not gonna stop and give up on you… just give me something as soon as you can…" He looked at the heart monitor on Jared's bed side. It showed no difference in the pulse.

Jensen smiled as he remembered something.

"Hey Jare, you think Sam and Dean's story is real? I mean… now that you can see the other side, is it like how Dean saw Sammy when he was in coma? You know, in season 2?" Jensen chuckled darkly. "Man I felt stupid playing that scene with the stupid ghost board. And Dean felt it too." He took a few seconds to go on.

"Jare, I always knew how Dean felt because I AM a big brother. I have Mac, you know? But then, this thing between us started and it felt different. It's like somehow you became my little brother and I was meant to take care of you. It wasn't even intentional most of the time. I just…"

Nothing… no signs of life anywhere.

"Jared I'm sorry if you ever felt any weight on you because of how I acted around you… I always thought you were the same, you know? That you felt this connection too… that you wanted me as your big brother too… And somehow I still believe that's true. I mean just because Sam and Dean fight, it doesn't mean you and I should too…"

Jensen kept talking and hours passed by. He wouldn't leave the younger boy's bedside just like he had said and even after the first day, when Sherry and Gen showed up, he didn't let them take the spot. He was so adamant on bringing his Sammy back, sometimes his thoughts even scared himself.

Slowly but surely the news got out and everything was turning to a mess. The shooting had stopped and the hospital was filled with people who wanted to see Jared, make him feel loved every day.

It somehow saddened Jensen for he got less time with his best friend but he learned to face the fact that Jared wasn't only his. That didn't mean he would let Jared out of his sight though. Soon, two weeks had passed and Jensen had only gone home three times to get a proper sleep or a shower.

He'd just sit all day by Jared's side, holding his hand and talking, waiting for his friend to give him a sign that he was better.

He'd talked about their funny memories, their sad memories, waiting for just an offset pulse.

"Hey Jare, remember that time we started screaming together? You know, it's always like that. You look at me and somehow I know what you think."

"Man, that time you took Misha's pants off. I was laughing so hard, I think I even peed in my pants a little."

"Hey Jared, remember French Mistake? Boy, just when I thought it couldn't get any better you pulled the hand thing and I just…"

"Gosh… when I had to talk to you and pretend you were… this reminds me too much of that…I mean you're lying here and I'm talking to you about what we went through and how I let you down by not taking care of you… I never related to Dean so much before…" Jensen had been crying so hard by that point that a nurse had come in and helped him get steady.

The worst part was that Jensen was running out of ideas. He had spent so many nights begging his god to save his little brother, his best friend. But it seemed like…

"Jared, it's 16 days now and you haven't moved an inch man… I'm starting to think maybe God has really left the building… maybe there IS no one up there listening to me? And in that case, what will happen to you when you…" He stopped himself there.

"No… you won't… I won't let that happen… you know I've been thinking about Dean a lot lately, about what he did after Sammy died… and I think I get him now… I… I wanna give it a try man… I think I'm losing my mind here but I wanna try everything… if selling my soul to Crowley will get your ass back here then I have to do it." Jensen chuckled bitterly, feeling his throat go tight.

He waited till that night, and only after Sherry came to stay with his son, Jensen left the building, getting in his car and going straight for the first crossroad his GPS showed to him. He got out and before he knew what he was doing, he was on his knees, digging in the ground. His face and shirt was wet from his tears and he was starting to sob uncontrollably.

"Please… please be real… please someone appear here and give me back my best friend… I don't even want ten years… please…"

Jensen sat there for hours, he lost track of time after the dawn. He wanted more than anything to just freeze right there.

Just when he was giving up on everything, he got one last idea. He'd seen it in movies, and it had worked. Maybe… he was gonna try everything anyway right?

So he went straight home, changed his soaked muggy clothes and took his guitar. He needed to get to his surrogate brother soon and try this. He was so sure that this would work, he didn't even want to think about the alternative.

When he got to the hospital, Sherry was holding Jared's hand and was sleep by his side on the uncomfortable chair. Jensen almost hesitated to wake the woman up, but then decided it will do her some good to go get some fresh air, so he quietly whispered her name, waking her up.

"Sherry? Hey… wake up. I'm back…"

Sherry jumped awake, her eyes red.

"What? Is he awake?"

Jensen hated to crush her hopes but had no other choice.

"No… not yet.. but I'm sure very soon he will be. He's a strong kid, and he plays one on TV. Don't worry Sherry, he's gonna be okay. I promise you, okay?"

Sherry smiled at him weakly, as if she was really trying hard to believe Jensen's promises.

"You should go get some fresh air, if it's ok I'm gonna try something else with Jared today." Jensen said pointing at his guitar on the corner of the room. Sherry smiled, patting the young man's cheek lovingly.

"I'm very glad Jared has a friend like you, Jensen…"

Jensen tried to smile back, hoping to God that Jared would agree with his mother.

"Guess family really don't end with blood, huh?" He said to himself more than Sherry, knowing she wouldn't really get the reference. But Jared totally would have.

When she finally left the two guys alone, Jensen fixed himself on the chair and started tuning his instrument, going through songs he knew in his head.

Finally he decided on 'gone, gone, gone' by Philip Philips. For some reason that song had always reminded him of the two of them, having each other's backs no matter what. He just needed to tell Jared that nothing had changed and that he still felt the same way about his baby brother.

**_Gone gone gone_**

**_"_****_When life leaves you high and dry  
I'll be at your door tonight  
If you need help, if you need help.  
I'll shut down the city lights,  
I'll lie, cheat, I'll beg and bribe  
To make you well, to make you well."_**

Jensen smiled, changing the chords as if he knew them by heart, and god knows he meant every word.

**_"When enemies are at your door_**  
**_I'll carry you away from war_**  
**_If you need help, if you need help._**  
**_Your hope dangling by a string_**  
**_I'll share in your suffering_**  
**_To make you well, to make you well."_**

Jensen took a few seconds to steady himself, feeling extremely overwhelmed by all the emotions he was feeling.

**_"Give me reasons to believe_**  
**_That you would do the same for me._**

**_And I would do it for you, for you._**  
**_Baby, I'm not moving on_**  
**_I'll love you long after you're gone._**  
**_For you, for you._**  
**_You will never sleep alone._**  
**_I'll love you long after you're gone_**  
**_And long after you're gone, gone, gone."_**

'Please don't make me love you when you're gone Jared… please don't be gone yet…'

_**"When you fall like a statue**_  
_**I'm gon' be there to catch you**_  
_**Put you on your feet, you on your feet.**_  
_**And if your well is empty**_  
_**Not a thing will prevent me.**_  
_**Tell me what you need, what do you need?"**_

'Remember when I got you that first date with Gen? You were so scared and just like a little girl talking to her crush… she's going crazy, Jared… please…'

_**"I surrender honestly.**_  
_**You've always done the same for me.**_

_**So I would do it for you, for you.**_  
_**Baby, I'm not moving on,**_  
_**I'll love you long after you're gone.**_  
_**For you, for you.**_  
_**You will never sleep alone.**_  
_**I'll love you long after you're gone**_  
_**And long after you're gone, gone, gone."**_

'Danneel thinks I've lost my mind, man… hell maybe I have… but I know you would do the same for me…'

**_"You're my back bone._**  
**_You're my cornerstone._**  
**_You're my crutch when my legs stop moving._**  
**_You're my head start._**  
**_You're my rugged heart._**  
**_You're the pulse that I've always needed._**  
**_Like a drum, baby, don't stop beating._**  
**_Like a drum my heart never stops beating for you._**

**_And long after you're gone, gone, gone._**  
**_I'll love you long after you're gone, gone, gone."_**

Jensen stopped and took a deep breath. He wasn't sure what miracle he was expecting but right now he didn't dare to look up and find his Jared in the same position. He wasn't sure he was gonna be able to take it. Finally after a few moments of internal struggles he looked up, reaching to hold Jared's hand and just when their hands touched, he felt a very weak but very real pressure on his hand.

"Holy… Jared… oh my God…" Jensen was freaking out and crying, waiting to get another pulse, something to show he was not hallucinating. And Jared didn't fail him, moving his finger a bit.

"Nurse… I need a nurse in here." Jensen finally managed to choke out, tears of happiness on his face.

"You sappy _girl_! All you needed was a song to get back?" Jensen chuckled, breathing in the air calmly for the first time in days.


End file.
